OK, another year of girl time is over and done with. As I move into Year Three of my personal exploration, a few bits of progress, and a few things learned.
To start with, with the exception of work and a small handful of people, I’m pretty well out to everyone I interact with regularly. It actually feels like I’ve gained a large amount of freedom in my day to day life, since I don’t have to hide anything from people. I don’t have to edit myself for anyone. I’m not out to work yet primarily because of the high level of customer contact I have on a day to day basis. I think… I would prefer a job with a much lower level of people walking in the door before I could share this with my coworkers. Not that I expect my coworkers haven’t already figured it out…
Second, I’ve more or less kicked my addiction to Second Life, and chat rooms in general. Part of this is that, well, it came out of my need for the feminine social role. I’ve made serious efforts this past year to properly reconnect with the outside world, including tending friendships that I neglected during my ‘dark days’. I don’t necessarily regret that I had this phase of my life, but I can also admit that I’ve moved past it.
The major restriction I’m under right now is that, while my parents know, I’m working on taking it slowly with them. Hopefully, I can break them in on actually seeing me as Lynn sometime this next year, but I also recognize that there’s a lot more baggage involved with the whole idea of not being ‘all male’.
My next goal is to work on contacting some therapists, and working on my budget so that I can get a session every couple of months. Part of this is that I’m starting to feel like my gender ‘modes’ are ‘convenience’ versus ‘comfort’. I’ve had many times where I’ve come home from work and been eager to change for an evening out… yet I’ve started the day en femme, had an opportunity to change modes for ‘convenience’ for doing things like a movie later, and not felt like doing so.
In fact, I wonder if ‘full time’ is indeed something in the cards for me.
That’s not a decision I feel I can make without consultation… I just need to get on the horn and find out how much I’m going to have to spend to get that consultation.
It’s going to be an interesting, and expensive, third year, I think.