I’ve pretty well stopped doing chat rooms and Second Life. I haven’t been in SL in a couple of months, easy, now, and other chat rooms in longer.
It’s been somewhat sad, in a way. Being online in a community setting was a big part of my life for a couple of years. But I can freely admit that I’ve grown past it.
The first reason I’ve gotten past it, is that I’m no longer dependent on it for my femme social diet. When I created my first female identity, and got that first hit of ‘social food’ as a woman, it contributed greatly to an addiction to chat rooms. I was in a few, very regularly, until I hit Second Life, which gave a better experience, although it pales in comparison to real life. Now that I’ve been doing so many things out of the apartment as Lynn, I don’t feel the drive to spend my time online like I used to. I’ve commented before that Lynn time in Denver is worth at least three times what Lynn time in Second Life is, but many times I think the ratio is much, much higher.
The second reason is, well, the overall effect of “blunt social trauma” that I’ve experienced, mostly in Second Life, but pretty much all of it online. First was the horrible relationship mess I wound up in (which I’ve already gone over in this journal more than enough times), that has pretty well resulted in my inability to place blind trust in my online interactions. To the point that I automatically assume that, if I’m not being lied to, I’m not hearing anywhere near the whole truth. The second part is that a few places I’ve found in Second Life that I’ve enjoyed spending time in, have either died of neglect, or been destroyed outright by drama, either online or offline. Through both issues, I have serious trouble making any sort of emotional investment in Second Life now.
Not to mention that my reaction to the first half of the Blunt Social Trauma has been to find a few things to do in my regular life… and combine that with the joy of being out as Lynn, and that I try to find opportunities to go en femme as often as I can, means I literally don’t have the time to spend with Second Life any more anyway.
I’ll look again in December… maybe it’ll be time then to delete my account outright.